


Lol. Cats.

by thought



Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: Animal Transformation, Crack, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-16
Updated: 2016-10-16
Packaged: 2018-08-22 15:58:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8291708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thought/pseuds/thought
Summary: What's weirder than surviving the AI apocalypse along with everyone you care about? Getting turned into a cat. That is weirder.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I regret everything.

Shaw thought that defeating an evil artificial intelligence that had destroyed her grasp on reality, and then witnessing three of the most important people in her life somehow survive getting hit by a rocket, being uploaded to a satellite and destroyed, and being shot in the stomach and declared dead, respectively, would be the weirdest thing that ever happened to her. She should have really known better than to articulate this in her own head, because about three weeks after she thinks it, Root gets turned into a cat.

"This is not my fault," Fusco says. The cardboard box on the floor of the subway rocks back and forth aggressively. John takes a few steps back. Shaw tosses a tube of Polysporin at Fusco's head because now that he's set the box down she can see the places where he's bled through his torn up shirt sleeves.

"Did the scientists mention when this might... reverse itself?" Harold asks delicately.

Fusco snorts. "You mean the singular tech Cocoa Puffs didn't shoot in the face in "self-defence"?" He glares over at the nearest laptop camera and Shaw is probably more satisfied than she should be that people are starting to direct their irritation with Root in the proper direction.

"Our suspicions about the lab experiments were right, then," John says. It's not a question but Fusco nods anyway, lips pressed together.

The flaps of the box finally pop open and a ball of puffed up furry rage explodes up and out and streaks off down the platform. Bear sits up. Shaw puts a hand on his head. "I wouldn't, buddy."

"And that... is Root," finch says, bemused.

"For at least the next few days, apparently," Fusco says. "So you guys have fun with that. The tech is down at the station now, if you've got any questions speak within the next couple hours or forever hold your peace with the FBI. I'm expecting mulder and Scully any minute."

"I'm sure we'll come up with... something," Harold says.

Everyone looks at Shaw. Fuckers.

*

Root can't stop shaking. She can feel her heart pounding faster than seems physically possible, and also... well. The tail. Her tail. Which she can't see but is somehow aware of and which feels expressly created for purposes of conveying her displeasure.

Everything is very big. Like. Very, very big, and dim, and there are so many smells she's never noticed before and now it feels like she's never going to get them out of her nose and her lungs. She's retreated under a chair, which feels like standing under the loft bed in Hanna's bedroom. The others are talking, which she's glad to realize she can still understand, though it takes a lot of focus and everything seems much more... vibratey than normal.

A pair of boots start thunking towards her hiding spot, loud like someone dropping heavy books and so big it seems like they should be leaving indents in the concrete. It takes a minute to recognize Sameen's boots-- they're the pair she only wears when it's particularly cold out, so Root's not used to seeing them on a day-to-day basis. Sameen crouches down. Root still has to look up to see her face. This is fucking Karma, probably.

"So. Uh. You're a cat. That's... better than getting shot, I guess."

'Swish swish', goes her tail.

"Look, I don't know what you wanna do here, but at some point you'll need to eat. And Finch will get all disapproving eyebrows on me if I leave you here overnight."

Being left here overnight sounds fucking perfect to Root, actually. She's small and reasonably defenceless and she can't even communicate properly and she's seriously considering trying to break into the drug stash and knocking herself out until she changes back. Shaw reaches out a hand. Academically Root knows her hands are tiny and adorable, but right now all she can think is how one of those hands could fucking crush her tiny cat skull. It doesn't matter that Sameen wouldn't do it. The possibility still exists. Root hisses. Like the tail flicking, it's a very satisfying way to express herself.

"You can't just hang out under a chair for the next week or whatever," Sameen says. Root begs to differ. Sameen comes closer. "We'll go home, ok? You don't have to leave the apartment."

Root thinks about outside, and the noisy vibrating roller coaster that was Fusco's car, and takes a deliberate step back.

"Seriously?" Sameen says. "Come on. You can hide under our blankets and, like, ride around on the goddamn Roomba like you've always secretly wanted to. It's the opportunity of a lifetime."

Root has already run this cost/benefit analysis. It's not worth it. Sameen can bring the Roomba to the subway.

Sameen huffs out a frustrated breath. Root has spent literally hundreds of hours watching the way she moves, which is the only reason she knows the half-second before Sameen lunges and makes a grab for her. Root launches herself around the chair leg and throws herself toward the train car. It's hard to get a grip with her claws on the floor, but she's got a head start. Leaping into the car is a disconcertingly significant challenge, but once she's on the (frankly disgusting) floor of the train car she finds herself following her nose towards a familiar reassuring smell. She jumps vertically straight up and her landing is more like a controlled sprawl because apparently a new body means a whole new fun set of balance issues to acclimate to. Her landing spot is pleasantly warm and humming gently in a way that buzzes up through her bones and teeth like a strong massage. Everything smells reassuringly like plastic and static and metal, and she lies there for a minute, just soaking in the sense of safety.

"I shouldn't even be surprised," Sameen says from the doorway.

Harold pokes his head over her shoulder. "Ms. Groves," he says, distressed. "Please do not get... fur... in the fans."

Root flicks her ears at him. She's not even on top of the vent. Besides, they'd built in a 30% safety margin when setting up The Machine's new servers. A little fur isn't going to do any damage.

Sameen comes into the train car slowly, like, Root thinks a little hysterically, she's approaching a wild animal. This is not the first time someone's approached Root like that.

"Hey," Sameen says. "I'm sorry, ok? That was a dick move on my part."

Root remains still. Harold and Sameen are entirely focused on her and it's making her itchy.

"We can stay here if you want," Sameen continues. "You can sharpen your claws on the fucking shag rug."

Root's reaction is automatic, but when she tries to speak it comes out as a meow, so, ignoring the stifling sense of horror that that creates, she lifts one paw and deliberately spreads out her toes, claws out. Sameen bangs her head back against the wall gently.

"Shut the fuck up. You're not sharpening your claws on me instead."

Harold coughs, uncomfortable. He's been fiddling with his phone and now he approaches her, passing Sameen until he's only a couple feet away from her. Root's tail lashes furiously even as she tips her head up to look at him. Humiliatingly, she also has the stray thought that it would be really excellent if he could just rub right under her chin for a few seconds. It's terrible. She likes to think as a human she's pretty good at hiding both her adoration and wariness of Harold, but as a cat she feels like she's broadcasting every emotion at full volume.

He holds out his phone, tipped so she can see. "I'm sorry, I'm not sure what... translated. Let me know if you can't read this."

Root stares intently at the words as they appear on the tiny screen.

'Can you hear me?'

She stretches a paw out toward the phone as far as she can. A soft, unfamiliar noise is coming out of her mouth, a sound like raspy crying that she barely recognizes.

'You are safe. I have analyzed all of the research related to the technology which induced your transformation. It is a temporary condition, and has no ill effects. Try to remain calm. Sameen wants to help you.

Root has been so focused on the screen that she doesn't see Sameen circle around to come up beside her. She comes up on the right, too, so Root's first warning of her presence is when she strokes a palm down from Root's neck to the base of her spine. Root arches her back, startled, but Sameen just keeps petting her and The Machine repeats 'you are safe'.

"We can hang out in here for a while if you want," Sameen says. Harold leaves his phone on the lip of a server wrack and edges back out where John and Bear are lurking uncertainly. That's just fine with Root. She hates to be a cliche but dogs are the last thing she wants to deal with.

Sameen settles down on one of the benches and starts playing a game on her phone. Root steps carefully across the servers until she's right beside Sameen's head, close enough that she can reach out a paw and tangle it up in Sameen's hair. She stretches over to press her nose against the soft warm skin just under her ear, but Sameen twitches.

"Just because you're a cat doesn't mean you suddenly get a free pass on non-sex biting."

Root licks her just to be contrary, then settles down on her side. She's suddenly feeling drowsy, and Sameen seems content to sit and keep watch. Besides, if she's trying to beat her Candy crush high score they're going to be there for a while.


End file.
